How @jamesfranco Is Ruining James Franco

I have mixed feelings regarding posting about James Franco because I’m not sure what I think of him. I’m kind of sick of him, but I’m also a fan. How can a fan also be a hater? After a little bit of thought, I think I figured it out. That is, I think I discovered why this hater’s gonna hate. Let’s go…

Like I said, I became a fan of Franco’s during his pre-“21st-century Renaissance man” days. I thought he was awesome as Daniel Desario on Freaks & Geeks. In fact, I remember thinking this guy was destined for Hollywood’s A-list. What I didn’t know was that Franco would end up on just about every A-list imaginable—Hollywood’s, literature’s, academia’s, art’s, weed’s…the list goes on.

But I was a total supporter. I thought his forays into other cultural spheres were awesome because the man never disappointed; he was good at everything, from poetry to comedy. (“Acting with James Franco” is still one of the all-time best clips on Funny or Die, in my opinion.) In fact, I think it was this—Franco’s seemingly all-encompassing prowess at all there is—that inspired the first wave of haters, the Gawker haters, as it were. This wave of Franco backlash seemed to be inevitable; a gut reaction caused by the evolution of envy and curiosity at this megaman of modern culture. I mean, I, a self-purported fan, even found myself sometimes cursing him for being so good at infinity, when I struggle to maintain expertise in one, maybe two fields. But all the while, the Gawker haters and I couldn’t stop wondering, WWFDN? What would Franco do next?

Franco did Twitter next.


That’s the difficult-to-transliterate sound of the Franco bubble bursting. Why? Because James Franco’s Twitter sucks balls. Really, it’s astounding how shitty his tweets are. I’m assuming he probably looks at them as technology-enabled performance art, which is fine (I wish more people would view Twitter that way, rather than a dumpster for the mundane), but if that’s the case, Franco is doing it wrong. In effect, he’s not even using Twitter. Unlike Stephen Colbert, whose Twitter account is a brilliantly conceived extension of his performance on The Colbert Report, Franco’s doesn’t use words. The fuck? A man on the literary A-list doesn’t fucking use words! Instead, he simply posts links with no descriptions to mostly uninteresting videos and photographs (save for one, at least, which suggested he’s a fan of Rothko) on his own blog, which connects to Facebook, where teenage girls then can leave him a string of emoticon filled comments. (♥♥♥James! OMG!♥) It’s come to the point where, it’s beginning not to matter that the mostly uninteresting videos and photos are by James Franco. More and more, it seems they’re simply by some random asshole whose idiotic bullshit is mucking up my feed.

I think this Twitter turn of events can only be described as “just plain weird.” It just doesn’t seem right that a man so used to making it to the top of legitimate, meaningful A-lists, has managed to find his way to the bottom of my Twitter list. This is the biggest letdown since Pee-Wee Herman discovered the Alamo didn’t have a basement. He’s just so bad at it.

I don’t want to be sick of James Franco, but I’m definitely sick of @jamesfranco. I want to be able to separate the offline persona from the online, but it’s beginning to become a challenge. I’ll see @jamesfranco in @hell for sure, I just hope I don’t see James Franco in hell, too.

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